Naomie Christensen: No Regrets

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

No Regrets

It is fun working in a creative field. Though a roller-coaster of emotion, I feel great about getting closer to the goal of being a Small Business Owner who specializes in humanities.

This blog is fun. It is a journal keeping track of various ideas while putting together a game plan. It might not seem like a journal all the time. There is a lot of introspection about trauma or events.

It is important to communicate and share information on a personal level. I remember meeting Older People when first thinking about becoming an Artist or a Model.

One experience was at a Friend-of-a-Friend's house. They had a home between downtown and the university. It was dark and creepy. I could not say much about it. It smelled of beer. The living room was smaller than the greeting area in my Parent's home.

It made me think about life. Being an Artist is difficult. Some make it to high paying levels and afford large homes. Others own a home, have a car and work a regular job. The past experience of fame is only a monument. Now that they are older, these monuments might be important to being successful the rest of their lives.

It is sometimes best to try to do everything and even if falling short of a goal all the experiences are valuable. Otherwise, a person grows old never knowing if they could have made it. Would they be lucky, chosen or extremely successful? It is a regret without ever knowing the outcome.

Is not knowing is far worse and living in the past. I do not know if is. I have plenty of memories. It might be swimming off the coast in the ocean, swimming in Crater lake, getting over anxiety of being alone in the house, having my own apartment, having a higher level job, graduating from a university or attending the filming of a game show. In all instances, you never really know until doing it.

Swimming off the coast was dangerous. It sounds fun. I swam past the continental shelf in a rip tide current and looked into the water. It is amazing. There is a cliff and it drops straight down. Everything is green and yellow. Swimming further out, there is another cliff. It is drops straight down into blackness. Sea creatures move in-and-out-of visibility. It is not that difficult to swim out-to-sea or swim on a diagonal to the shore. What a person should know, but not realize, is that there are extremely large animals living in the ocean.

On the cliff, I could see a Giant Octopus swimming out of a cave. It looked tiny and then I realized how large it was. It must have been huge. I swam further into the ocean. It swam away from me. I noticed the Shark. It scared it. I swam to shore and realized the Shark was scary.

I made to shore safely and did not know until years later that Giant Octopus are known for eating humans. After arriving on shore, everyone said they never hurt people.

"Everything a person survives make them stronger." There are fun experiences we want and some experiences that just happen. It is like a chain-reaction.

After I decided to live in the moment, I met someone who was in one of my favorite bands. It was fun. I was overdressed, yet I met them. It was a similar experience. It was a rundown house by a freeway. A Friend invited me to see a band practice. It was strange how meeting them in real-life did not change my opinion of them. It was still a great band practice.

It is difficult weighing the importance between money and vocation. Money is a nice way of saying perform is good. A vocation should have monetary reward; however, sometimes someone has to do the work. There are great issues in the world. If no one does something to resolve issues and everyone worries about themselves nothing happens or changes.

Some people might be happy with everything remaining the same. There is always something that could be better and should be better.

I do not remember the exact time of realizing that knowing the reward for winning is important when accepting a challenge. Deciding what challenges to accept, this keeps me out-of-trouble. There are many times obstacles seems huge and the learning-curve is steep. It might take a considerable amount of time to experience any type of success: personally or worldly.

What do you gain from experience? Will effort really be worth it? I ask myself that all-the-time. The biggest problem during the whole experience of entering into a type of Freelancer vocation is grieving working for a corporation.

There was more to accomplish. I was only using part of my skills. It was fun at first. I enjoy paychecks. It is nice knowing there is money in the bank.

It takes many skills to work for a corporation. I learned to type faster. Already knowing how to talk and use a computer, my skills are better because of repetition. I also learned about time-management and working with people. The idea of not being able to be friendly without being friends is a distant and shameful memory of youth.

I am able to be self-motivating and adhere to schedules. I am also overly aware about how much money I would have to make to support myself. Everything costs a lot of money. Home, furniture and cars are expensive. Clothing and food is also expensive. I wonder if this project will bankrupt me and end with acknowledging a cubical is safer.

This Autumn is the first time knowing; it will be fine. I have thought about going back to a regular job, yet I acknowledge that is just a desire to avoid change. It remember working at an office as easy. I could not wait to quit my virtually monotonous job when deciding to start a home business began. I have to remember to keep going and avoid bargaining for a resolution to feel more comfortable.

It is almost manic. I try to sabotage myself. There have been many times when finding who is causing problems for myself, it is me. We have had talks, literally. As an auditory person I talk to myself. My advice to Auditory Learners is to talk-to-yourself and leave other people alone. It is good to talk to people. It looks bad and can be uncomfortable listening to someone ramble.

I am feeling good now. The next goals are set. My blog is great for helping people. Success is not automatic. People are in different places in life, yet helps enough to feel the whole experience is good. Though having an overall positive outcome, there are encounters with a Giant Octopus.

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