Naomie Christensen: Winter Thaw

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Winter Thaw

It is a cold winter evening. Though cold days are ending and looking forward to above freezing temperature, I am lethargic with a tendency to hibernate every winter. It was bothersome at one time, yet I have decided it is natural selection; wherein, those who start slowing down when it's cold assists in calming down when sharing a small huts for sever days or even weeks. I do not know if those with the trait became preferred mates or it is an environmental mutation. It does not matter now.

I do not feel sad. It probably is not seasonal affective disorder. I feel good and warm like wandering around in a warm, invisible blanket. My disposition is great. I have always done well in class and got good grades, yet every autumn I try to continue a regular exercise routine and then slowly stop. This year I occasionally went to the gym, one a week or once every other week. The first time going, sitting on the exercise bicycle, is better than last year.

Feeling snuggling warm, that is all that changes. I stop working out and spend a lot of time in my room. I can do all my work and sometimes sleep. I think about life and potentially good blogs for my blog site. Today I thought of a few good ideas. There are interesting things on television and clarifying my past blogs might be a good idea.

One idea involves a tacky comment in a serial comedy. It says something about making other plans until someone takes a hint that they are no longer a preferable friend. It is slightly true. No one wants to make people feel awful. However, there is another side to the story. Sometimes people really have to do other things. I do not want to hangout with someone when I should be going to work or school. A College Friend in always wanted to go out and do something. Usually we would walk around campus and chat about life. Unfortunately, I had to study, I had to tell her studying is more important. I was not brushing her off and felt awful when she did not study for classes. S couple days before final examinations she showed me the huge textbook she never read. She went home, to a different state.

There is also the time I knew a whole big group of friends and they always did everything together. I believe the original idea was more people means more help. Life is tough. There are highs and lows. During the lows they made rude comments which caused additional complications. They were always there to support each other. Eventually they began to empathize. Realizing everyone has problems, with more time fixing problems, the plan to get their lives together was successful. Even with this in mind, possibly regretting missing an adventure, I think about how many times they were ready to get in a fight over something they ignore when they do the exact same thing. It is like a person hopping after the person who broke their leg; instead of, going to the hospital to get a cast.

It is difficult living. Not everything is an indicator of deciding someone else is an anchor drowning them in the sea of life, yet sometimes it is true. I remember thinking going out all the time was making it difficult to go to work and school. I did not want to be another older person going around trying to prove they are still cool; however, there were a few older people who did manage to buy their own home and live well. Maybe it was not too bad. Anyway, during figuring out how to work, pay tuition and go to school, the night shift was a great solution. The fact that it would interrupt spending time in someone's basement apartment or spending all night at a warehouse party was appealing. It negatively impacted my social life, but I graduated. Sometimes decisions are made when somethings are more important than someone. Everyone have more friends over having more "good" friends.

There is nothing to do about it now. It is past. I wrote an article about the extreme lifestyles of Gothics. It is true; even as a sensible person, it seems as though everything has to be all or nothing. Socializing constantly becomes staying around the house most of the time and rarely doing anything fun. It is completely opposite. I think about going to places to make or renew friendships. I know the location of the popular coffee place, yet I mistrust myself. Eventually I'll be wasting my life away at bars and dancing all night. I will be back to avoiding ruts and it is amazingly important to just not be home. Meanwhile, the rest of my life slips away again.

It would be nice. Luckily it is possible to be extremely mediocre. Fulfilling many statistical averages is difficult work, yet it is an extreme way of life. What is it like to become a stereotypical figure a Marketing Genius is able to derive from statistical information in an office? It is unremarkable, yet very unremarkable.

At least there are a couple articles to write for Goth Ilk though it applies to most people. Gothics are also human. Goths are simply aware and decide not to do anything. Goths are fairly good at promoting the parts of life that are routinely put down in the media. I think two blogs will be good. One for Super Middle Class who appear to purposely make themselves into a caricature. One for everyone who glorifies detriments in life that most people agree is a bad idea.

I cannot wait for the spring thaw. There is an inviting, nearby park. Almost feeling a degree of a self thaw, there is an invisible blanket surrounding my heart. A nice lulling feeling making it nice to wander around thinking about things and remembering what to do next now and later.

Related Article
Being Reasonable
Extreme Tendencies of Goths
Love of Pain

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