Naomie Christensen: Back to Chaos

Monday, May 14, 2012

Back to Chaos

After a long rut of reading books and writing articles with some kind of written support for theories I am back to introspective articles. It should be fun for awhile. Most of my website is less organized blubs on this or that. Structure was fun; it is time for regular blogging.

My Mom visited for almost a month. It was difficult keeping on top of everything. These changes seem sudden. It is weird because after taking the Stress Test in Health and Wellness in college I was suffering from too much stress. After living in the same place, doing the same things I have hardly any stress.

Part of me wants to do something, really anything, to have some stress. There is actually a healthy level of stress and I am falling far below that line. It feels good.

What am I thinking about? There is the issue of my Mom's visit. It is strange, while living with her I feel as though my parents are dictators. Suffocating in oppression, as soon as I leave, I realize they are optimistic about my future. They have big expectations because they know I am a competent person with skills. They are helping me to have better future.

As the years pass I begin forgetting a lot of stuff and may even want to live with them again. The first week was great. There were a few thoughts that living with her would be great. Unfortunately she has Multiple Sclerosis; maybe luckily, while seeming to have all her coughs and weird bodily things under control she is still gross.

I gained several weird OCD's the last time I lived with her. Though better, it weird how some OCD's reflect a mysophobic behavior after living with her last time?

Thinking about her life, it is inspirational. She was working as a Mail Carrier for the United States Postal Service when experiencing early signs of MS. The job became impossible. She did not quit. She transferred to the Mail Sorting Department.

First signs were in her eyes. She did not stay in bed feeling herself. She changed eye glass prescriptions. Multiple Sclerosis deteriorates the nervous system and affects multiples parts of the body. She lost feeling in one foot and kept working. Numbness came and went for a long time until losing the ability to drive. I remember sitting in the car with her. She lifted her leg with her arms to move it from the gas to brake. It was very scary. She went to work as long as possible to get the better medical retirement. Even then she looked around to find a job closer to home.

My Father and I were angry she drove to work. It was dangerous. We also did other things to make sure she was a socially acceptable person. There are several people who think being nice to someone is making them stay in bed. We met a man with MS whose family was so nice he quickly became a virtual paraplegic in only a few years. My Mom has lived with the disease for about two decades. She still goes to the gym. She also enjoys practicing walking up the driveway, shopping and visiting the Senior Center.

While always thinking she could do better, she is doing well. It took awhile to accept everything. Heat makes it worse. She has to wear adult diapers. One day during the vacation she went to the store with my Grandmother. She was able to use the electronic wheelchairs at store, yet she did not have enough energy to get out of the car when they got home.

She wants to stay active. We are not allowed to carry her into the house. With empathy I took her to get a drink at a drive through while blasting the air conditioner. There were a couple of errands. I ran into the store while she cooled down. It was nice and she was able to get into the house on her own by the time we got home.

She really helped during the trip. We went to the mall and restaurants. She bought some clothes for me and we spent time talking about life. She often worries about my life. More than everyone else, yet it is nice knowing someone cares. Caring makes all the nagging and secondary viewpoints on my life almost complimentary.

It is the day after Mother's Day and I am thinking about my Mom. That's it. I am also thinking plenty of other ideas. Totally independent ideas differing from anything else I am writing. That whole month or more of building ideas in complexity and depth was a fluke. Today is it appreciating Mothers. Tomorrow begins a discussion about modern self-defense.

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