Naomie Christensen: Uncertainty

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Uncertainty

Many people entering creative fields will feel inadequate at a time in their career. Being any type of Artist or Entertainer places a person into a spotlight; wherein, a personal life becomes entertainment to everyone. This means automatic acceptance and criticism.

Some are not capable of producing artwork or writing that has value to an audience. This is an obvious limitation. Considered a right brain activity related to communication there are barriers even when a person has talent.

Unlike being a modeling or entertaining, painting and writing are considered introverted vocations. When preferring to better the world or create something beautiful to share with everyone from home, Artist and Writer better vocations. Painting and writing never fade or at least resist aging. The picture by a Photographer or film by a Producer aesthetic beauty will have the same or similar message in the future.

When I was young and seeking an Atheist qualification of immortality, becoming famous, I took a few Graphic Design classes. Already identified as talented, I spend a lot of class time doodling in the margins of my notepad. Being identified was great for a long time. People love the idea of knowing a Famous Artist or Writer. With a large social outlet and I went to several parties; however, I wanted to be a Conceptual Artist.

Concept is important, yet as I try to rise to the levels of Escher there was no real concept driving my work. Escher was involved in a political movement. I was another teen going to school with skills that were similar to everyone else and even today I still see similarities with other teen drawings of awkward faces and otherwise mystical characters. The lack of concept was a stab at my self-confidence.

I changed my degree plan to graduate from college and learn more about issues, lifestyles and behavior. I enjoyed Scientific Geography. It enhanced my knowledge to something unique with differentiation from Pop Culture Assumptions.

During this time I went to college and worked as a Pizza Delivery Driver. It is probably the most common experience post High School Graduation of young adults. I went to smaller parties with a handful of friends who have similar backgrounds. A lot of them were unfortunately looking for a new input to absorb and learn from a variety of people. Being more proactive in people's lives I found much of all-the-same: inclination to aspire in a creative vocation; high intelligence; Middle-Upper-Class family; similar interest in humanities and most bizarrely some kind of Military or Federal association through immediate family members.

It is okay. I should have been more open. It might have been rumored as the poor friend. There was a nasty discourse after introducing some "friends" to my family. They had to make sure I knew I was an "Elitist." I did not say anything dishonest or deceptive, yet that was the general understanding. I do and do not feel awful about what happened. If anything, I would like an apology, because they made an assumption about me.

Later I moved and went to an appropriately Elitist University that was also Christian. Though attempting to adjust to the ideals of Secular Religion and Taoism, my upbringing is Christian, so I might as well go to a Private Christian University.

School was difficult. The only Campus Sorority has a qualification of maintaining a 3.0 Grade Point Average or higher. The University does not care about "the College Experience," unless the college experience is attending all of your classes regularly and constant study. In fact, any drinking, socializing or anything off topic from graduating might result in expulsion.

During this time I would still draw, doodle and occasionally attempt to paint. Going to college and working in regular jobs gave me the experience I needed to have a depth of knowledge and infusion of concept into my artwork without churning out the same Pop Artwork now common to everyone.

Additional jobs include Date Entry, Inbound Call Center Customer Service Representative and Assistant Manage. These jobs are okay, yet not my destiny. I really enjoyed Customer Service. With more confidence I know I can have a sustainable career in art.

Truly, being a person with all the encouragement when younger, there were a few critics. The only thing stopping me from becoming a professional artist was me. Whether young and still needing more something, or older and wanting more opportunities self-confidence is what makes it possible to keep working towards the brighter future. Knowing it will and must pay-off, there really never was and ever will be other options.

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